Our easy Halloween napkin rings and Halloween table decoration are made mostly from Dollar Store supplies, but they make a beautiful and elegant tablescape!
It was last year around this time when Handan proclaimed that she had some Halloween projects in mind for me to make and write about.
I cast an eyeball in her general direction, squinted, and tried to make sense of her babbling.
Was she asking me to…to…to craft?
Good lord, this hen had been pecking too long at the fermented seed!
Didn’t she know….couldn’t she see that I was a prime specimen of Grade A Man?
Men don’t craft! Little boys and mommies – they craft! Old ladies and little girls and all the women in between – they craft!
I’m a man, dammit!
I chop down forests!
I build big thrusting skyscrapers!
I devour large animals!
I start devastating wars for profit and glory!
But I don’t…I never…I can’t….CRAFT!!!
All that furious thinking had tired me out, so I sat and let out an exhausted breath. Handan just walked over and plopped a few lengths of plastic chain links on my lap.
There was probably a hidden meaning in there somewhere, but I’m a man, dammit, and analyzing women is not my cup of grog.
I continued to eyeball her from the sofa. She was still yammering on about god-knows-what. It was probably a good time to start paying attention again.
“…and yeah, my babes, everyone will love it. You’ll see. Simple projects are always the best.” She finished what seemed to have been a long speech, but I’d tuned most of it out. Something about cages? Dollar Store? Cheap and Easy?
Well, what can I say? When the woman is right, she’s freaking right! That little (craft-ish) project has become our biggest hit of 2018, and it’s still picking up steam each and every day.
Since then, I’ve had to re-evaluate my man-ish stance on crafts.
Maybe they’re not all dried elbow macaroni, Elmer’s Glue and gold glitter.
Maybe you ladies are on to something…have been on to something for centuries.
So why didn’t you tell us dudes??
Well, I forgive you.
Since that fateful day when I took my first steps into the crafting world – steps that would lead me (and Handan) to our new philosophy of Simple Stupid – I’ve grown used to small, quick and easy projects. This Holiday Season, I’ll be sharing a lot more of them with you.
Today, I have two little projects to show you. Each costs next to nothing, with items readily available at the Dollar Store, but they make beautiful and classy Halloween table decorations with just a touch of creep.
We’ve done a lot of super creepy and gory Halloween projects in the past, but this year is all about elegance.
Easy DIY Halloween Napkin Rings
Okay, this is about the most ridiculously simple project I’ve ever done. It’s going to take you longer to read about it than it is to actually do it.
You’ll need some cheap vampire teeth, the cheaper, the better. I recommend this party pack from the Dollar Store. A dozen of Dracula’s closest friends were de-fanged to bring you this economy pack of glow-in-the-dark neck-pokers.
Open the pack and get ready. But first, you may want to put a pair in your mouth (yeah, I’d wash those first – I doubt the Chinese factory washed them) and then chase your children around the house screaming, “Blah! Blah! I vant to suck your blood! Blah!”
Congratulations! You’ve just quadrupled your Dork Factor in the eyes of your kids! Now leave them alone and let them go back to their surrogate mother – the iPhone.
Okay, back to our napkin holders. Since you’ve got more class than a state university, we’re going to paint these teeth with something metallic and shiny. Whatever floats your highfalutin boat. We chose an awesome gold color from Rustoleum’s new Imagine line of spray paints.
It’s what John Lennon would have created if he had lived a little longer.
And if he had worked for Rustoleum instead of with those other three guitar-strumming and drum-banging Liverpolitans.
Anyway, Handan and I were keen to give this new paint a whirl. It promised twice the coverage compared to their regular spray paint. Fab!
On my first try, I sprayed the teeth and then bent them into shape later. This was a mistake, as the bending flaked off the paint. So for round two, I bent the teeth first.
The unbent teeth, aka The Yawn of the Dead.
I folded them over. By the way, this step is far more amusing if you fold, open, fold, open, fold, open, all while shouting “OmNomNomNomNomNom!” Bonus points for chasing your husband or wife around the kitchen while doing it. Unlike children, our significant others generally do not assign us Dork Factor points, so you’ve nothing to fear and very little to lose.
Here’s the backside. Not my backside, madam! Please!
Next I crushed the elbow bends with a pair of pliers.
This is important. If you don’t crush them with pliers, they’ll tend to spring back open, and you’ll lose that whole hey-look-at-these-vampire-teeth-biting-into-my-napkin effect.
Now my vampire fangs were in a much more manageable pose.
You know, this has me thinking. If a pair of pliers can shut Dracula’s mouth, I wonder if they’d work on Handan’s? Hmmmmm…. [I don’t understand men! They keep telling you to “clam it” all the time, and when you finally do clam it, they start peppering you with questions like “are you, ok? did I do something wrong? why are you so silent?” LOL – Handan]
My teeth were ready for some of Rustoleum’s finest.
No, seriously, they’re for a future post, so stop looking!
Okay, okay, yes that was a picture from the first time I sprayed them! Jeez! So nitpicky!
Here’s how they looked the second time.
Once the paint had dried, our Halloween napkin rings were ready for napkins….and action!
But first there was the little matter of making the table ready.
Easy and Cheap Halloween Table Decoration
Abbot and Costello.
Peanut butter and jelly (peanut butter and Fluff for us up here in the Northeast!)
Steak and red wine.
These are all classic and beloved pairings that have stood the test of time.
I’d like to introduce another: Vampires and Spiders.
It makes sense, right? Vampires like to hang out in their coffins in dank, moldy basements and so do spiders! It’s so obvious! So what better pairing for our vampire teeth than a big Dollar Store spider web?
How about two Dollar Store spider webs!
Handan just buys stuff like this, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know what she’s going to do with it until the ideas have had some time to knock around her brain. They are meant to hang on the wall, but Handan had a new idea…
First, we pulled the glow-in-the-dark spiders from their webs and set them aside. They’d come back into play later.
Using the same hanging ribbon that came with the webs, I tied the two webs together.
I’ll show you in two pictures how I tied a granny knot. It’s more dramatic that way.
I placed the webs in the center of the table, and we added some LED candles. To make things a little creepier, we stretched black spider webbing over the candles and stuck a couple of spiders here and there. We had also bought two little candle holders with spider legs and googly eyes at the Dollar Store. We removed the googly eyes, because no one ever said, “Please, darling, come admire my elegant Halloween table decorations. I used googly eyes, don’t you know? Yes. Googly eyes. I bought them at Nieman Marcus for $385. That’s per eye, darling! And I had to pay another $250 to make them google.”
Okay, I’m almost ready to show you our easy and inexpensive DIY Halloween napkin holders and Halloween table decoration.
But first, a word about the place settings. The chargers came from the Dollar Store, so you can probably guess their price. As for the black plates – we bought them at Target for 79 cents a plate! Yes, they are melamine, but so what? How many times are we going to eat on black plates besides around Halloween? 79 cents!! The Dollar Store only wishes they were as cool as Target! Getting the right color napkins was a bit trickier, so we had to splurge for real microfiber napkins at Bed, Bath and Beyond (or, since it’s Halloween – Bloodbath and Beyond). But really, you can use paper napkins. I’m sure no one would lose their head over it.
Or would they?
Let’s see how it turned out…
And the spiders we pulled off the web? I sprayed them black and stuck them on the wall with poster tack.
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