The Miracle in the Mess (& How to Pronounce Handan’s Name!)
I’m pretty sure you’re pronouncing Handan’s name wrong.
But hey, I’ve been wrong before. Remember last month?
I would have bet tall stacks of cash that most of you were pronouncing ‘Navage’ wrong.
What happened instead?
Most of you had it right!
Who knew!
But with Handan’s name, I’m more confident that you’re getting it wrong.
And Barish (actually spelled Barış in Turkish)?
You’re definitely pronouncing his name wrong!
I’ll bet you a chicken dinner!
Unless you know some Turks, in which case, all bets are off.
Anyway, we’ll circle back to those names at the end of the post, and I’ll also tell you what the names mean. Unlike in America, where our names are generally just sounds we respond to, in Turkey, all names have meaning – surnames and given names alike.
*******
Okay, so ever since we moved to America, Handan’s been clamoring to go to a church service. She grew up in a predominantly Muslim country that is accepting and tolerant of other religions, but those other religions only comprise about 1% of the population.
Suffice it to say, churches are a rarity in Turkey, and Handan had never been to one.
So she’d say, “My babes, can you take us to a church one of these Sundays?”
And I’d say, “Umm, yeah, of course, my babes.”
And then I’d forget all about it, and life would carry on as it always had.
But not this Christmas.
This Christmas, Handan informed me that this year we would be going to church on Christmas Eve.
She even picked out a church!
A coworker had told her that the First Church of Christ in Wethersfield, CT does the best Christmas Eve service around.
Handan told me, and I looked it up to see what all the hubbub was about.
The First Church of Christ building was built in 1761, but the congregation was formed in 1635!
Jeezum Crow, that’s old!
The cemetery also dates from the mid 1600s.
True story: when I was a kid, my dad used to call cemeteries “marble farms.” I thought this was hilarious, so of course, decades later, I informed Handan of the name when we first drove past one back in 2013. Thinking that was the official American name, she used it in casual conversations at work.
Hilarity ensued, I’m sure.
I only caught on when Handan, Barish and I drove past a cemetery one day and Handan turned to young Barish and said, “That’s a marble farm.”
Thank god I wasn’t drinking coffee at that moment, or it would’ve ended up all over the windshield!
Good lord, she had taken me literally!
Anyway back to Christmas Eve. My parents were scheduled to come over for drinks and gifts and dinner that night, so I had to pick the earliest of the 3 Christmas Eve services.
Besides for weddings and funerals, I hadn’t set foot in a church since I was in high school.
I picked Handan up early from work, we went home to put on our holiday best, and we made our way across the Connecticut River to Historic Wethersfield.
Worried that we might not get a parking spot (Handan told me how popular this service was), I made sure we arrived 30 minutes early.
The parking lot was empty.
Okay, so maybe the first service – the one for families with babies and little kids – wasn’t as popular as the night services.
We exited the car, bundled up against the biting cold and made our way across the vast and empty parking lot towards the towering steeple of this historic monument.
We reached the door.
I wasn’t sure if I’d be met with lightning bolts or bathed in heavenly light as my foot crossed the threshold. Either seemed equally likely.
But nothing happened but for a blast of warm air as we stepped out of the cold and darkening air and into the quiet and softly-lit church.
We took our seats near the back. Handan wanted to take in the scene.
She told me to take a picture, but the last time I’d been in a church, portable phones were just emerging, and they sure as hell didn’t have cameras.
I felt like a boob as I cautiously pulled my phone from my pocket.
But then I looked around and saw that someone else was taking pictures and others still had their noses in their phones.
So. Even the house of God wasn’t immune from the incursions of technology.
Still, I felt like a heel, so I snapped two quickies and then shoved my phone back in my pocket.
I may not be a Pious Pete, but I know enough to respect another’s House of Worship.
It must be incredible as darkness falls!
After some opening Christmas carols and a message for the children beautifully spoken by one of the associate ministers, the senior minister took center stage and delivered his Christmas sermon.
But maybe “sermon” is the wrong word.
To me, it evokes stern men in robes reminding us of our sins.
This wasn’t anything like that.
The minister told the story of the Nativity.
Now, it’s a story that most of us are familiar with. We’ve heard it a thousand times.
But the minister told the story as it may have actually happened.
In a time with no technology.
No electricity.
No running water.
No cell phones.
He told of a child born in a barn, surrounded by animals, stench and filth in conditions unheard of in today’s antiseptic world.
He told of a conflicted and anguished man who chose to stand by his wife, knowing full well the baby in her belly was not his.
He told of a mess and the great miracle that arose from it.
The Miracle in the Mess.
And then he drew the parallels to our own lives in this clean and modern world.
He spoke of Christmas cards with perfect families in perfect poses – well-behaved children and even the dog is smiling!
“Is this reality?” He asked.
The entire congregation shook their heads.
His message was that our lives are not perfect, and they likely never will be, but within that mess, we can still find miracles.
I looked at Handan while the minister spoke.
She was transfixed, her head nodding up and down.
And tears filled her eyes.
At that moment, I was so happy we came to this service.
She’d been having a tough go at work with a new employee in a position of power. I think the message she heard gave her hope.
We left the church, and I promised myself to take her back there from time to time.
*******
Christmas Eve with my parents was perfect. We exchanged gifts, listened to carols and managed to forget about the world for a while. Even Penny got into the spirit.
*******
Over the next couple of weeks, conditions at Handan’s job got worse.
The mess just kept getting messier, and it was taking its toll on my babes.
During this time, we had to take a little trip on unrelated business.
Handan was the lowest I’d ever seen her, consumed by stress and worry. She couldn’t enjoy a single moment of the trip.
And the worst part was there was nothing I could do.
She was surrounded by her own dark cloud, and it followed her everywhere. She couldn’t escape its oppression. I looked out of the window after takeoff, and as we pierced a cloud, I imagined it was like what Handan felt.
I had tried to remind her of Christmas Eve.
I had tried to find the Miracle in her Mess.
But nothing worked.
And just when we were both about to flame out and plunge towards earth, a brightening…
A break in the clouds.
She got news that she would be starting on a new project in a different location.
Better than a break in the clouds; we were above the clouds.
At once, the weight was gone.
The air was clear.
This was the miracle we needed.
And it came from the middle of the biggest mess we’ve faced.
What was a nightmare just a few weeks ago, Handan now considers a blessing. Without that mess, she wouldn’t have started the ball rolling towards her miracle.
Now we can look back and look down at what caused so much pain free from worry and free from anger.
It is below us.
It is behind us.
*******
I know, I know, now you’re all like “Oh my god! What’s happening!”
Relax, madam. All good things, I promise!
But Handan will need to travel a bit during the start of this project, so for the next few months, she’ll mostly be gone.
I’ll be here with Barish, missing her and carrying on as best I can until we’re able to be a whole family again.
Since she is fully half of this blog, my posting will likely decrease to one post per week until she’s back with us permanently again.
But fret not, madam! It’ll only be for a few months, and then The Navage Patch will be stronger than ever – I promise you that!
*******
Now, to the business you’ve all been waiting for: how to pronounce Handan and Barish!
Okay, first off, let’s talk about what those names mean. As I said before, in Turkey, all names have meaning, and many names are the exact same word for everyday things.
“Handan” comes from ancient Persian. It means “smiley face” or “someone who makes others smile.”
Perfect, eh?
Barish’s full name is Barış Eren Şengezen, and it means “Peace Saint Happy Traveler.”
Couldn’t be more spot-on!
Okay, okay, okay. Pronunciations.
Handan = “Han” like Han Solo or Honda and “dan” like Don or Donald. There is a slight stress on the first syllable.
So were you pronouncing it right, or were you saying “Hand Anne” or “Hand Enn?”
‘Fess up!
As for Barish – his is even weirder.
If you’re saying “Bear-ish” or “Barr-ish” (like bar of soap), well you’re wrong.
But if on the slim chance you’re saying “Buddish,” well then madam, I owe you a chicken dinner!
*******
Okay, gotta wrap it up for this month’s Navage Haps because there’s a ton happening right now at The Navage Patch, and I’m just trying to keep up and stay awake!
‘Til next time!
Greg
I’m soooooooo very happy for all of you and thank goodness you posted how to pronounce Handan and the little Buddha’s name. Now I won’t make a complete boob of myself the next time we chat on phone 😉
LOL, thanks, Michelle! Now everyone can get our names right! 🙂
This is my favorite post, ever. Thank you
Oh, wow – thank you, Dawn! 🙂
Had Handan correct but Barish wrong!
Happy for y’all that Handan’s work issues are better.
Thanks, Julie! 🙂
Yep. I was wrong. Had the Navage part right though, so I get at least 33%. lol.
Marble farms…Good one! I had a nephew that was going past a cemetary in rural Iowa and stated “That farmer sure has a lot of trophies!” He has since been corrected but it was good for a year or so.
I love how God connects things together for us even when we don’t see at first. Blessings to you guys!
Trophies! LOLOL, I love it! 😀
That was a lovely post about miracles and messes! Miracles do happen. And I was close on Handan’s and quite wrong on Barish’s very British sounding pronunciation. Best wishes to Handan!
Thank you, Raquel – they do, indeed. I certainly see that now with Handan! 🙂
This complete post was beautiful. Thank you for each word (and pronunciation!)
Thank you and you’re welcome! 🙂
Had Navage and Handan right (My birth name is Persian and nobody ever got it right `Vashti’ means Beautiful)
Got Barish wrong, Ba-rish sorry, right now.
Few get my surname right either, Wynne get called Winny, Wayne, Wine
Maiden name was Mycroft, are you related to Sherlock Holmes then. Grrrrrr.
I’m in Rochester, Kent UK
Loved the winter pics, good luck to you all while Handen is away, hope technology helps you stay close.
Lucy
Thank you, Lucy – Vashti is a beautiful name! And Vashti Mycroft is awesome! It’ll be tough to have her away, but we’ve got Skype! 🙂
I was also right on pronouncing Handan’s name but sorry, Barish, I was totally off! People always get my last name wrong, even though it seems very simple. They always try to over-complicate it!
I’m glad the cloud is behind you and the bright sky has opened up! ☀️ Handan, as her name suggests, should be smiling!
Oh she is, Jay. Ear to ear!
Yay for Handan! I can’t imagine her being in a job/position that makes her feel dark/drab/depressed. I feel like I know her personally through the blog and always see that “smiley face”…..that’s who she is!
It really is who she is, Susan, which makes it all the more gut-wrenching to see that smile stolen away by circumstance and bad people. It’s back now, though! :):):):)
I loved this post so much!! – And to think I was tempted to go straight to the names before reading the entire post, so glad I didn’t! By the way, I was pronouncing all of your names wrong, thank for clearing that up! The church is beautiful, I do hope y’all go back once in a while and I am so happy Handan is starting this new project. God bless y’all!
Thank you, Lori! I know our names are tough, so it’s good to put a little pronunciation primer out, lol! We will be going back to that church – there’s no doubt about that. 🙂
Thanks for the comment Greg 🙂
Lucy means bringer of light so still pretty important 🙂
As a Tao I don’t `pray’ but will be thinking off you all while you are apart.
I was brought up Muslim, but attended Catholic pre school, infant and juniors.
Well I had Handan’s name right, but so so wrong on Barish. No winner winner chicken dinner for me.
Glad Handan got a break on the work front. Daily work stress is no fun-ever. I always like to think every bad situation has a kernal of opportunity hidden in there somewhere–we just have to train ourselves to recognize it and grab on with both hands. Everything eventually balances out even if it sometimes doesn’t feel that way at times. It always does and light prevails.
You’re right, Laurie – things to tend to balance themselves and work in our favor. But it sure can be stressful waiting for the light to reveal itself!
Totally WRONG with both names!!
No Chicken for you! 😀
Aw, Handan will be back before you know it with a head full of ideas for you to construct. I got it both names wrong Han Dan and Bar ish. Couldn’t eat the chicken dinner anyway, i’m veggie.
I know she will be. No tofu for you! 😀
Congrats to Handan, first of all.
Secondly, no, I didn’t pronounce either of their names right, nor Navage, and now I’m not sure if I’m even pronouncing my own name right, lol! To be fair, a lot of people from the generation before mine call me Betsy instead of Becky. ?
That church is gorgeous, and very “New England” in appearance. I could easily imagine in 200 years or more in the past. Very cool.
Life is a mess, yes, and it’s made up of experiences and people—not things. You and your family are definitely doing something right over there.
Thank you, Becky! It is a very New England church, and one of the oldest around! I hope we’re doing something right – we’re sure trying! 🙂
https://twitter.com/citizen_word/status/1229763227992588288?s=21
Okay, not sure how to post a pic in the comments, if that’s even possible, but the link above is to my Twitter. It’s a project I just finished using your printables for a larger project at work. I work at a library, and the annual Big Read is coming up. This year it’s “Lab Girl,” and our library is doing an associated anthology, themed to “trees,” of local authors. I wrote something, but we will also include art and my project will be at the kick-off, too. I hope!
You guys rock. Thanks for the how-tos, the printables, the…everything!
—Becky
I saw the pic on Twitter and I love it! Great work, Rebecca! 🙂
LOL. Well, I did have Navage right, at least! I was saying “hand anne” for Handan and “bar ish” for Barish! No chicken dinner for me, alas!
Good luck to Handan on the next chapter in her professional life!
Thanks, Brigitte! 🙂
What a lovely story about the miracle in the mess. And the news? I was so afraid that you were going to say that there would be changes in your lives and you would have to move (and I can’t imagine moving that wonderful workshop) or you would not be blogging. I was prepared to be devastated, and then the great news about Handan getting a new employment adventure! The times apart will make the times together so much sweeter. Blessings on all of you! Ellen
It was an amazing story, and it came at the perfect time! don’t worry, we’ll always be The Navage Patch – even if we had to build a hut on the moon! 😀
I loooove your blogs….they always make me happy. I think I love you too….and when Handan is through with you, can I have you? 🙂 (like that will happen never) Oh, yeah….I love her too.
Seriously….maybe the visit to that church is the reason things changed for her. Don’t doubt the power.
I hope this blessed year will hold all kinds of happiness for your beautiful, talented, wonderful family.
Thank you, Joyce! I know that church visit helped. Whether it was the power of the church or the power it gave Handan, I don’t know. What a year it will be! 🙂
Love, love, loved this blog. It’s so good to read this happy story with all that is going on in the world. I too had pronounced their names wrong. No chicken for me.
You really should write a book. I would buy it!!!
Thank you so much, Marcia! Wow, I’m so happy you liked it. I wrote this post in fits and starts over the last week while trying to navigate through all that’s been going on, so I’m happy it is being received so well! About that book? Maybe someday when we both have a little time to relax and take things a little slower!
So happy to hear Handan has found a happier place. Her smile is infectious. But I’m sad you’ll be apart for a while. You will survive and be stronger for it! OK, I had Handan and Navage correct. Am I correct in assuming Buddish if pronounced like a flower bud? Lol. There’s always room for confusion.
Ah, good point, Linda! Yes, the “Bud” of Barish is like flower bud, not like Buddha.
I am so happy to read that things are looking up for you guys and Handan especially! All the best for you and a great start for the new project!
As for the names, I did indeed pronounce your last name incorrectly (sorry about that ;)) but Handan and Barish were spot on – admittedly I grew up in Berlin, Germany and in a part of Berlin that used to be jokingly referred to as “Little Istanbul”. So I might have had an advantage there 😉
In any case, thanks for the great posts – I always enjoy them, even more so with good news!
WooHoo! Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! 😀
Let me just say that the story you told about the Christmas service also brought tears to my eyes. Handan (which I had been pronouncing incorrectly, thank you) was not alone there. And I have to admit that I wasn’t even close on Barrish.
I am so happy for you and I wish success to you all!!
Awwww, thank you, Susan! It was really an amazing service!
What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Stephanie, and you’re welcome! 🙂
I’m 1 for 3 too, which would be decent as a batting average. ha! I had Navage right, but pronounce Handan as Han-den and Barrish as bare-ish. So happy to hear that your Christmas Eve experience was good and that Handan’s work had a positive change.
Thank you, Krissy – one outta three ain’t bad! 😀
Beautiful post……I pray your family continues to feel that tender touch of God on your hearts.
love your blog, love your names
Thank you so much, Ann – I hope so, too!
Okay, but when are we going to get to the post about how to pronounce Greg?
Is it like Craig, but with a G? Are any of the G’s soft, Rolly sounds? Greige, like the blend of Grey and Beige?
Is the first letter silent? What if you’re actually “Reg” and we’ve been fooled all along?
Of course, I’m kidding.
All the best to you and your family.
LOLOLOLOL!!! REG! That’s what I want to be called from now on! :D:D:D
Hey sorry to say I got navage right,Handan, right but Not barish…My bad…Glad things went better after going to church…Never loose the power of miracles…May you be blessed.with many more..And all readers have their blessings also .
Thank you so much, Shelley. Blessing to you too!
I’m so glad you were pleasantly surprised at the Christmas Eve service & it is certainly a beautiful church! I hope you will continue to attend some services there. Easter would be a wonderful time for another visit. As important as Christmas is for Christians, Easter is the most even more impactful and moving. Blessings to you all.
I got Navage correct but blew it on the other 2.
On a side note…..whenever we passed an auto “wrecking yard” scrap yard my dad would say they’re sure having a big picnic!
LOL, a big picnic, indeed! If Handan is around for Easter, we’ll certainly go back. 🙂
I deserve only chicken feed my pronunciation was totally off LOL. But I do believe in miracles had a few in our family too. Enjoyed your story especially the marble farms ?
Miracles happen, Bunny – we’re all believers in that here! 🙂
Had them both wrong! But now I know!? So sorry Handon had to go through all that stress at work but am happy it all worked out in the end.
So are we, Pam! 😀
Well at first it was in my head Han-dan almost like 2 separate words, then after watching one of your videos and you said her name (very fast I might add) I was saying Hon-din in my head, and yeah, I was Barrishing all over the place on Buds name. Great post and the pics are beautiful and so happy the Mrs. has a new work opportunity, hating to go to work sucks.
Once again Babes you rocked the post.
Barrishing all over the place, LOL! Yeah, you’re right, I did say her name in the bluejay video. Good catch!
God truly works in mysterious ways. Your post was just the inspiration I needed this morning to get through a rough day. Thanks. Btw I was totally off base with pronunciations. I agree with Marcia on the book. Your style of writing attracted me to your blog
Thank you, Debi, and I’m so happy you found inspiration here! 🙂
I’m so glad that church service gave you an “A Ha moment.” I can’t imagine my life without involvement in church on a regular basis. Way I’m built, I guess! Been there, done that about a lousy work situation with an egocentric boss that did not appreciate me. Glad to be retired. I bet Handan will come home with a notebook full of ideas (and probably some treasures gleaned from shopping in a place away from home) for new projects for you! Hope all goes well (this translates to I’ll say a prayer for you all!)..
Thank you, Kathy, your prayers are appreciated! We will certainly be going back to that church! 🙂
Well Greg, you owe me two chicken dinners – but wait, I lie. I had no clue but will probably continue to pronounce them as I did prior to knowing as my way is easier and as I will never meet them, they will never know.
Best wishes, Suzanne (Australia)
LOL! I’ll be the Aussie pronunciation is awesome on both names! 🙂
The Church description gave me shivers. I have always believed in our Lord but for the last couple years I am more so. I am glad I got Handan‘s name and Navage right. I was saying the American Ber- ish. I love his pronunciation much better.
I was in a situation as your babes. Mine ended my working career. 20 years in customer service for a mall and it ended. I then went into a sales job. Bad move but I meant such wonderful people. The asst manager was so jealous of me she fabricated a story and called the DM. Next day I was fired. Free at last, free at last. Have Faith Handan. God never puts us where He needs us to be. God Bless you.
Thank you for sharing your story, Jody. Life is often unfair, and the workplace even more so. I hope you came out of your experience a stronger person. 🙂
What a wonderful story, and thank you so much for sharing. Looking forward to the return of your sweetie.
P.S. I learned more than I wanted to know about Turkish names from a Turkish gentleman named Orhan Cingilli. Will be glad to share if for some reason you do not know how to pronounce. Bet you do!
Thank you, Penney. One of the bog bosses of the Turkish construction company Handan and I worked for in Afghanistan was named Orhan. Oily and deceitful man. Wouldn’t trust him with a handful of sand!
Greg,
That was a beautiful post! I loved hearing about your Christmas eve experience & how happy Handan was to go to church. ( btw, I did have her name right) I was totally wrong about Barish’s name. The church looked beautiful too!
So happy to hear Handan is in a better place with her job, a bad work environment can really toxic.(been there)
I look forward to reading your posts, you always make me laugh. Best wishes to you & your family in 2020.
Michele
Thank you so much, Michele! Yeah, we’re all relieved she’s out of that situation and moving full steam ahead into a better future! Blessings to you and your family! 🙂
What a beautiful post! I’m so happy for all of you! I’m going through some health issues that hopefully will soon be cleared up. It’s been ongoing for years so I have become a little jaded every time a new doctor gives me a diagnosis. This post reminded me that the clouds will break just when they are ready!
❤️
They will break, Giselle. Believe it. Handan will say a prayer for you.
Thank you so much! I wanted to thank you for the printer recommendation! I have been having a terrible time with getting my pictures printed because everywhere seems to use those Kodak instant printers and ALL of my pictures turn out grainy despite being fine on my camera and printer. I’m happy to say I just printed off several and they are all perfect! I use a Sony mirrorless dslr and thought I just didn’t know what I was doing (well, I really don’t! This is so different from an other camera I have used) and had gone back to my old point and shoot. I’m now inspired to learn more of the amazing features it has thanks to your recommendation! ❤️
P.S. I just finished a course of meds and am finally beginning to feel like my old self! I appreciate the prayers, I need them!
Loved the Christmas story message. I have never heard it told that way. And for you and Handan to hear it just at the time it was needed is beautiful. I am in a group reading the Bible in a year. Ina commentary I read along with it I found this comment,,,,,,,,”Trust the timing. God will do His own work in His own method and time and we may be sure that they are always the best. ” During this time of transition, you take care of your family and everything else will fall into place as it should. Prayers for all.
Thank you so much, Annetta! Handan always tells me the same thing! Thank you for your prayers 🙂
I also had Handan correct and Barish wrong. ? So glad you found the miracle in the mess – keep on the lookout for those miracles!
Thank you, Junette! You may have had them wrong, but I bet they sound really cool with a South African accent! 🙂
When my last name was Fox, I called a dentist office for an appointment. The lady who answered had to put me on hold. When she returned she addressed me as Mrs. “Wolf”. I am sure she was embarrested but it was a great laugh from the office staff…and for me.
LOL, they are both fantastic last names! 🙂
Ah, so sorry Handan will be gone, but so glad she is out of the mess. Sometimes we have to give up something to make it all better in the end. I had Navage and Handan correct, but Barish to me was Bar-rish, accent on the first syllable. Smiley face -PERFECT! Her smile does indeed make me happy!
Oh, her smile makes me happier than you can guess, Karen! I will miss her, but it won’t be for long!
Love this post! And happy for Handan! So now the question is how exactly do you pronuce “Buddish”?
Sorry for the late reply! “Buddish” is like flower bud + ish like fish. Stress is on the first syllable. 🙂
This is really fabulous, the post is very interesting and inspiring and now i know how to pronounce Handan’s name properly. I just love it. Thanks for the interesting and amazing post
Thank you, Christina!
Haven’t heard from you guys for a while! Is all well?
Hi Sheri, all is well! I will be back with a post very soon. We’ve been busy with trying to sell our house and find a new one 1000 miles away. I’ll have a lot more to say on that in my next post!
Much happiness in your new home! I only got Navage right -probably cheating, but I had an instructor in nursing school with the same name.
Thanks, Melissa! Really? It’s a really uncommon name, and most of us are related as far as I can tell. I wonder if we know them!
Forgive me, but I’m still not sure if Barish is more like “buddy” or more like “Buddha” – I’m assuming the first?
But when are you going to tell us how to pronounce your name?
What, Greg? It’s Egg with a GRRRRR at the beginning, LOL!
Well that was fun!! Han-Don Savage-Navage and Greg and Buddish! So Cool!! I just want to know, does Han-Don speak with an accent???
She speaks with a slight British accent. When I first met her, she had a pronounced British accent, but it has mellowed since she’s been in the States. She’s deathly afraid of losing it – she considers British English to be superior to American English, lol. When she was 11, she started spending summers with a family in England. They had taken her older sister in for some sort of exchange program and then Handan followed suit. They got on so well, that she returned year after year, and that British family became a second family to her. She still keeps in touch with them to this day and calls the mother “mom,” and when he was still with us, she called the father “dad.”