I had a vision of a black wine bar with a blazing red mahogany bar top – a manly thing wreathed in testosterone and Cuban cigar smoke. I went to Home Depot and browsed through their library of 6.2 trillion colors. After viewing only a few hundred billion, I stumbled upon a promising candidate: Warm Onyx. Warm Onyx.
Now that’s a color name that radiates Manliness but tempered by Sensitivity. It’s the Barry White of paint colors. Aw, yeah. I paint my bar that color, and the neighborhood ladies will be lining up at the front door! Handan will be beating them off with a bat!
I got a quart and lit out for home.
Since it was a complicated piece to paint, I knew that a sprayer was the way to go, but as I’ve said before: I’m all angles and elbows when it comes to paint sprayers. They might as well be sewing machines. But, I bucked up and grabbed the sprayer. Handan was on hand to give me pointers and photograph my folly.
I sized up my adversary.
I moved in for the first strike.
That face, though.
And what happened next is a story best told by my face. I’ve cropped the rest out. The face says it all.
What the hell is this color?
Turd brown? It looks like turds! Turd brown!
What a waste of money. What a ridiculous color. I wonder what’s on TV tonight?
Maybe I can work with it? I’ll make it work, dammit!
Ugh. Screw it. I quit. I’m outta here.
The pieces lay strewn across the battlefield. As the sun set in the west, the vultures circled overhead.
We packed the pieces into the garage, and there they sat for the next three months.
What was I thinking? Black wine bar? Neighborhood ladies in negligees on my doorstep? Cuban cigars? Handan with a baseball bat?
I slapped myself and charted a new course.
Well, if black (or turd color) wasn’t working, maybe white was the ticket. Handan always has some of her world-famous chalky paint mixed up and color-matched to Old White, so I figured I’d give it a try. By this time, I’d also mastered the art of the power sprayer. I’ll give you a brief tutorial.
Step 1: Sneak up on your project.
Step 2: Check for predators.
Step 3: Attack! Aim and fire!
Step 4: Attack from above!
Step 5: Attack from below!
Step 6: Grab a beer and know you’ve just done a helluva great job painting your project!
Handan and I carried the frame back to the basement so I could carry on building the bar tops. I gathered more mahogany scraps for the upper bar.
They looked good, so I planed them, cut them to size and glued them together.
Next, I cut some pieces for the sides, then glued and clamped them.
I routed the edges with a roundover bit.
Then I turned my attention back to the lower bar top. Handan suggested we paint the stencil with patina. I had my doubts, but I deferred to her wisdom.
When we peeled off the vinyl, the stencil shone with filaments of azure light. This paint is amazing – it is the Aegean Sea in a bottle.
I took the two bar tops over to my finishing bench and started applying my secret weapon – the thing that would make the mahogany and the stencil pop. Here’s a little sneak preview.
Meanwhile, in another part of the sweatshop workshop, Handan was applying the wine label collages to the sides of the cabinet. First a little Mod Podge…
…then she pressed it into its place.
Click on ‘Next’ to continue.
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Kat says
Turned out good Greg but I am going to say something you probably don’t want to hear. It would have been perfect in black! But the stencil in turquoise is beautiful. Love the choice of nobs also. So glad you didn’t rough it up to give that aged look everyone is doing. It looks good and you get the gold star this week buddy!
Greg says
Thank you, Kat! I also think black would have looked great, but I love the combo of old white and mahogany, too! 🙂
Cecilia says
It turned out great! Love the touch of turquoise.
Greg says
Thank you, Cecilia!
Sandra Powell says
Creative idea Greg, it looks great! Looks like you have fun doing the shoot!!
Greg says
Thank you, Sandra! Yes, the best part about using a glass of wine as a prop is drinking it at the end 🙂
(And the bottle, too…)
Linda says
Wow. Before I tell you what a great finished product you did, I have to tell you something I have been wanting to write for quite a while. O.M.G. DO NOT ever give up this blog unless you go pro as a comedian! I laugh till my face hurts! I swear, between the dialog and the pictures I think I will explode from laughter! I not only love the work you and Handan do, I adore you both for your approach to all you seem to do. You talk my talk, you walk my walk!!!
chris aka monkey says
yes what she said xx
Greg says
Thanks, Chris! 😀
Greg says
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Linda! Comments like that keep me going! 🙂
Marie|The Interior Frugalista says
Ditto what Linda said. Great way to start my Saturday morning! You need a warning at the top though that reads, “Warning: Do Not Read While Drinking A Beverage”, my computer monitor got a coffee spray. Clever dresser upcycle and gorgeous bar!
Greg says
LOL! Thank you, Marie!
Organized 31 says
Once again, you both did an amazing job. I absolutely adore this wine bar. Handan, you’d better get the baseball bat ready to keep the neighbors away. 🙂
Greg says
Thank you, Susan! No neighbors yet, but Handan is on the lookout! 🙂
Debrashoppeno5 says
You did a fabulous job. What vision you have to come up with this fantastic piece of furniture.
Greg says
Thank you, Debra! 🙂
Cathy Kennedy says
Greetings from East TN! I’m visiting this morning from “Inspire Me Monday”. Y’all did a fabulous job upscaling an old dresser to a wine bar. I always enjoy seeing how inventive others can get with old furniture. 🙂 Have a good week and I invite you to hit the dance floor with Curious as a Cathy with sci-fi theme mewsic from my favorite TV shows!
Greg says
Thank you so much, Cathy, and welcome! I love the music from Stranger Things…and what a great show!
vrmm26 says
Wow! A lot of work but well worth it. Looks awesome! Visiting from Creativity Unleashed party.
Greg says
Thank you! Yes it was a lot of work. Too much, really. But, now that it is done, I’m enjoying the result! Thanks for stopping in! 🙂
reinventedkb says
That really turned out great. I love those wine label collages.
Thanks for sharing at Funtastic Friday.
Greg says
Thank you, Kimm!
MmrliRuddy says
Love this post and the wine bar turned out gorgeous! Love the blue stencil and the labels. It is certainly a beautiful one of a kind piece you should be proud of. Loved reading this post your writing style is so much fun. I think if I would have held up a router and let out a primal scream it would be because I dropped it on my foot. Great job.
Greg says
Thank you, Melissa! 🙂
Brenda Young (@UniqueJunktique) says
You just crack me up! love your style and your projects always turn out awesome sauce! I would like to invite you to share your pieces and sense of humor at my weekly furniture party Fridays Furniture Fix over at my place!
Greg says
Thank you so much, Brenda! We’ll see you at the Furniture Fix!
acraftymix says
Great job you guys. It’s perfect for storing all that precious cargo and thank for the heads up about the turd color. That did not look good
Greg says
Thanks, Michelle! Yeah, that color was the worst, but Handan found a way to make it awesome with white wax!
Helen at the Pleasures of the NW says
What a difference!! (And I think Greg was having too much fun!! LOL) I’m a little behind but I wanted to stop by and thank you for sharing on last weeks Pleasures of the NW’s DIY party
Greg says
Thank you, Helen! 🙂
DearCreatives (@DearCreatives) says
Awesome project. Thanks for sharing at the Inspiration Spotlight party. Shared
Greg says
Thank you!
mythriftyhouse says
Very creative ….both the bar and your writing style. Great job.
Greg says
Thank you, Denise! 🙂
Cassie Smallwood says
This turned out awesome! I love to see great upcycles! Great post too!
Greg says
Thank you, Cassie!
harropaj says
That is a might fine looking wine bar and what a story to go with it – I had to read it all lol
Greg says
Thank you, Amber!
Kileen says
Awesome project! Thank you for sharing at Ravenwould.
Greg says
Thanks, Kileen! 🙂
yvette says
Love the turquoise stencil, where’d yo find the stencil?
Greg says
Thank you, Yvette! I found the stencil just searching online. I was hoping to email it to you, but now I can’t find it on my computer! I’ll see if Handan can find it on hers tonight.
susan says
I have laughed so hard reading this post! I’m so glad someone else does stuff like we do! The wine bar is absolutely beautiful! You have a new fan!
Greg says
Thank you, Susan! If you like to laugh, you’re in the right place!
Jay says
Perfect post to cheer me up for the night. Honest, you could just start going to open mic nights at some comedy lounges and telling your stories, Greg. If you can recount them as well in person as you do on paper, you’ll be a hit. Just reading the stories behind every (frankly gorgeous) piece you and Handan make is what really sets your work and blog apart from the many others.
And then the final products are mind-bendingly beautiful like this wine bar. Would have never believed it was that old chest of drawers!
Greg says
Thank you, Jay! Hmmmm….DIY standup comedy…you may be on to something, lol!